capture everything in your mind!

Monday, July 28, 2008

its now or never..
i guess i'm going to do this and end it now..
i know it hurts but i'll be willing to do it..
so that i wont hurt myself for a false hope..

i'll just forget what and who i've become..
the person who you shape out of me..
the person who you have gave your heart..
the person who loves you deeply..
the person who will sacrifice anything for you..
the person who will be there all the time for you..
the person who will go through your ups and downs..

i'm just going to forget everything that made my past..
i'm going to move on with my life..
i wont dragged back just because of my past..
i guess its time for me to really forget you..
you have been a great friend and person to me..
what we shared before...
the bond and the things we encounter..
all will be forgotten...
im doing all this so that i can just forget about you..
and also so that i can stop loving you like i did before and now..
i know its hard for me..
but i have no choice..
i will do anything just to make me free eventhough to pierce my heart..

i will forget those memories with you..
i will forget the day i first met you..
i will forget those pictures we took together..
i will forget those times we spent together..
i will forget those romance we shared before..
i will forget the personality of you..
i will forget those words of yours..
i will forget those promises we made..
i will forget everything that my memories had of you..

its time for me to say goodbye..
i hope by doing this i will move on with my life..
i know its hard..
i know i may fail forgetting you..
but i'll try for the sake of myself..
i cant help seeing your face..
if i were to see you again...
i will fall for you again..
but no more for me to wait quietly and patiently..

im going to disclose my feelings towards you from now on..
i just gg to forget from the day when i met you at esplanade..
till today..
all those memories..
all those talks..
all those pictures..
all those romance..
i'll try to end it here..

goodbye...my dear...

2:49 AM

Sunday, July 27, 2008

well....
lets update what has happen so far...
ermmm..
been skating with usual group..
the T's...
gaining weight...long time no train..
more skewl werk..
gotten more inspiration...

stupid stuff been happening lately..
crazy as usual..
nothing happening ah ...
so far usual..
normal..
no extraordinary..
hah...

i wonder...
how far can it go...
hmmmmm....
i hope its far..
far away till i cant see it..
hmmmmm...
i guess what's past let it be a past..
i guess there's no way to turn back time huh...
hmmmmm....
guess soooo...

going offfffffff.....
see u around...

12:40 AM

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

no words to explain..
is the world turning upside down??
u may wonder why i say this..
but really since that words came in my mind..
i've been traumatize by that...
damn..
how can a .....
wakakakakkaa...
imagining it...i cant keep myself for not laughing..

kiwek..
ape hal ngn dunia ni...
die gitu leh dpt foreigner..
udin udin....
haha...mcm ane ko leh dpt..
sedangkan aku gini tk ade..
ko ade..
ko pakai ilmu ape ah...
hahahah....
heran heran...
stakat aku ngn rul tkde..
ko leh ade lak...
udin udin...
mcm ane ko ade...
bilang aku...
hahahaha....
aku nak satu..hahaha...
ajar aku k...
hahaha..

k la..ingat ajar aku...
lau tak aku bunuh kau UDIN!!!
hahaha....

im out of words...
see u around..

11:13 PM

Monday, July 21, 2008

its either one..
its either i have everything or i have nothing..
its either i have the bright side of my live or the opposite..
its either i win it all or i loose it all..
its a life of choice..

yea i cant be bother with what is happening around me..
i got myself tangled in wires of problems..
it took me years to untangled myself..
but i think im adding more wires to myself..
i hope i make the right decisions..
hm...
anyway..
life been ok..
i guess..
sick now..
i need to rest lots in order to go training..
erm..
i guess something new is happening...

im out of words..
see u around..

10:35 PM

Sunday, July 20, 2008

i look back what i've gone through..
it seems everything is just touch and go..
it does not last long..
i dont even know why...
i guess its time for me to get into a real relationship..
but..
i do not know why i cant..
no idea to why or how to overcome..
i guess i really haven move on..
my past is my present?
i'll try to be ignore the past..
but simply i cant..
eventhough how many times i tried..
but i still fail..
where is the love...
i guess i need to search deep in myself..

life has been ok..
changes here and there..
exams coming..
need to study hard to pass the module..
come on min..u can do it..
haha..
i wonder if i could go back to the past...
if you could..where would you go?

out of words...
see u around..

12:51 PM

Friday, July 18, 2008

i stammered for words..
i spout vulgarities..
my English are broken..
fuck...

i dont give a damn..
as long as i am capable of doing things right..
im fine..
i noe its a weird post..
but im totally bored...
i just wanna shoot out my weak points..
so ya if u dont like those vulgarities..
3 words for u..
fuck off me...
thats the 3 words..
get it?

hm...
lately been busy with life..
biostats cct done averagely..
69%..
need to study hard for next week..
there is 3 test in that week..
omg..damn...
nvm just tahan...

out of words..
see u around..

12:35 AM

Monday, July 14, 2008

yea im fucked up..
i see no progress in the project..
fucker fuckydy fucked up...
i think that we will not make it if this carry on...
damn...
i got nothing else to say...

and besides the fucked up...
i had a great time with my classmates..
celebrating Ning birthday...
happy birthday yaw girl...
hah we went swensen..
suprised her...
then enjoy eating cookies and cream cake..
then ate at thai express...
wow it was nice...
first time eating there..hahaha
noob...lolx...

hm...i respect ur decision aite..
go on k..if u wanna talk..get the phone and dial my num aite..

hmm..this fri..
first session..
i wonder how it will go..
hah...

im still faking a smile eventhough all this happen...
fuck...

out of words..
see u around..

10:49 PM

Sunday, July 13, 2008

what can i say...
i just torn my favorite pants yesterday..
damn..was skating2 then at night i finally realise its tore wide open..
no wonder so cooling..
wakakkakaka...
then go home change and go out lepak for awhile with rul man jh wy shuk..
we got to admit we are like radio station..
we can sing any songs..
even the old songs..
hah..weird ehhh..at least can sing part of it..

today was ok..
soccer as usual..
i got blood blister..
it looks cool..
can play with the blood in the blister..
hhaaha...
injured..
i think i wont go training on tues..
my sole is pain..
haiyoo...
anyway...life is ok for me..
nothing new..
just learning jap from a fren of mine..
hahha...japanese ke pe..
lolz...
anyway..i hope to get a board soon..
when will it be..
and yeah..i guess..its time for me..
to get a real one...
hmmmmmm.....

out of words..
see u around...

10:47 PM

Friday, July 11, 2008

k im back to post..
yeah its been a long time since i do blogging...
first come first...
i got to say..
i've change..
hah..
i broke my promises that i've made to myself..
myself only not to others..
but wat to do..
its life..
there's always changes..
heheehee...
anyway...
been doing some exploring...
so far seen nothing...
so we'll keep on exploring..
hahaha...
tkde keje cari keje..
lolx..

tinking of changing...
i felt that lots of people around me change..
in different ways ah..
but donnoe wat..
hah..
lame shit..

im out of words..
see u around..

11:20 PM

Sunday, July 6, 2008

whenever i browsed through my old pictures..
i recalled what happen during those moments..
the picture that have the face of me and you..
makes me remember those things that i did with you..
i never threw those pictures away..
so that i'll never forget that particular day..
those were the great times of my life..
when we shared our tears and laugh..
those were the days when we prepare for our SYF competition..
that times were the times when we were very close in distant..
its like everyday you were by my side..
and by just seeing your face makes me smile..
we went out together to enjoy ourself and watch concert..
and i still remember the day when i knew you at a esplanade concert..
i still remember the time when we took the night rider home..
lots of mishaps occurs in between and its about 3+ when we reach home..
i still remember the date when u thought me how to play a clarinet..
and yeah i have to admit its tougher than buzzing horn or trumpet..
we became closer as the days past with each other..
sharing our personal problems or other problems together..
those we the days i seriously fell in love with you..
and i dare to sacrifice myself just for you..
but as time pass our love faded slowly..
i've didn't knew the reason for our love to fade exactly..
but i'm sure that i do love you very much and till now i still do..
i thought that im the only one falling for you..
yet there's always other parties that made you confuse..
confuse to choose which party to let loose..
i took half a year just to wait for your love..
and i respect the decisions that you've made..
and now there is something i want to tell you..
i still do love you like i did before when i was with you..
if you're reading this poem that i create for you..
i just keep this quiet so you will be happy too..
and yeah this poem is for you, a---a-..
the person who i love now and then..
this poem for you will stop here today..
to tell you what this heart of mine has to say..

12:04 AM

Saturday, July 5, 2008

let see..
its been almost a week i've never update..
i guess im lazy..
nevermine..
anyway im updating it now..
so far life's been fucking boring..
i think its time for me to try new things in life..
come on...
we live life once..
why not try every single thing in this world..
from good to bad..
a to z..
everything..
hah..
im just bored..

school studies have been increasing..
im damn headache ah..
lots of things to do..
here and there...
common test i did not bad ah..
eventhough i never studied..
anyway whats past is a past..
now i better concentrate for the future..
i'm still looking up and down for you..
and suddenly...
i thought about you..
it has been a long time...
very2 long time..
since the SYF days..
............

im out of words..
see u around..

12:12 AM